Past the dead line

Before anyone says anything, I separate the word in the title on purpose.


When I lost my job, as you can read in the previous post, I was not happy. Hell, I was disappointed, angry and depressed, also quite nervous, anxious and afraid. Afraid of the unknown, like what am I supposed to do now?

Two weeks passed and I haven’t been that relaxed for quite some time now. Since I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, that was a delightful change. Yes, I am quite open about my conditions, both physical and mental. Physical, because I was born with it, hiding it would be a lie and it would make me feel like that I don’t accept a part of me. I still have a lot of self-image issues, let’s not make more kind of thing.
The mental one, well. Partly I was born with it (I am on the autistic spectrum. Not too severe, but yeah, it makes life harder than it should be sometimes) and the other part is that I am sick. Maybe I don’t have a sore throat or anything, but yes. Mental problems like depression, anxiety and more are illnesses. The person is being sick. The hormone levels are not correct in the brain.


And since I don’t feel ashamed by having a cold or the flu, why should I when my brain is affected? I am getting a treatment for it and I actually have it due to my environment.

So yes, I refuse to feel bad about my illnesses.

Back to my point…

In the last two weeks, my anxiety level significantly dropped, I don’t grind my teeth during sleep anymore, I  am more relaxed during the day, I can concentrate more. I restarted to do my hobbies. And I also realized that I needed a change and I have so many option out there and I shouldn’t clutch to something what makes me not only unhappy, but sick.

What is the moral of that story?

Sometimes you just need that leap of faith. Don’t end up in my situation. Take a step against it at an earlier stage. The deeper hole you are in, the harder to get out.


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