So what’s next…

Well, when you are in a situation like me, or you are a bit like me (oh, you poor unfortunate soul…), you need some time. To think. To try to have those lightbulb moments. When you have some ideas what to do… with your life eventually.

When you are a person like me, interested in so many different things, you divide your attention all the time. This is quite exhausting and it is a bit like scratching the surface, but not getting any deeper knowledge….

So what you need to do is prioritize. It will be hard, I can guarantee that, but might worth it. I don’t know, still working on it.

So basically, since now I am here floating in the life of the unemployed. I need to think which of my interest can bring money. Sad, really, but when you struggle with the monthly rent, that is kinda the first step, to make at least the amount of money what makes you through the month.

So, I will exclude for example the music. I play the piano, but I do it as a hobby and I am not really good at it either, so it will be the “when I have time for it”.

Also crafting and cosplay. Or parts of the crafting and cosplay. Cosplay is expensive, let’s face it, and it doesn’t matter how much you love it, it still requires money. So that is going to be on hold. Crafting can stay a bit, because I gathered up so much materials, that I can create things in the meantime without spending anything or at least more than a couple of pounds.

So what’s left is my experience and university degrees (time consuming job search, I just applied one an hour ago) and the painting/drawing part. I have materials on my, so I can work with that.

Now we just need ideas to put into reality. I cannot do wall murals, because I usually do indoor ones, and I rent the place. But, I can design tattoos, which I do occasionally, lineart with my tablet and eventually, to put ideas onto paper. I have 3 different project ideas for that, so at least I am not at zero. 🙂

And in the meantime, it seems I am getting out of my depression. Yes, I have as previous post talked about. I don’t hide it. People criticize for it, but that is exactly the approach what makes mental illnesses worse. Making it a taboo. If I would have flu, no one would care if I shout it out on the internet. But mental illness, that is something unspeakable. Hell not. It is time for people to understand, it is much more common than you think.

My grandfather probably suffered from it until he died. Now we know, because we remember how he was, but he never got treated for it, because hurr-durr only crazy people goes to the doctor with mental problems.

So, yeah, no hiding here. I get treated for it. And guess what, instead of getting worse, I actually getting better. So please, people, if you think you have depression or anxiety, take the self-test on NHS and if the test says you should ask your GP, then do it. I know it is hard and I personally felt ashamed of it, but they can help.


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