e-learning · Uncategorized

Course 5: Understanding Plants – Part I: What a Plant Knows

Understanding Plants – Part I: What a Plant Knows by Tel Aviv University


More information about this course > click here <

I really loved this course. Even though for me it was quite a simple one, having botanical background and everything.

How the Professor explains and puts everything into context is amazing however. After the introduction video my main thought was, “That’s how teachers should teach!”. He makes everything more interesting than any teacher I have ever heard talking about plant physiology.

Each week ends with a quiz which is quite fortunate for me, as I am usually not performing well on the assignments. The quiz wasn’t easy, it needs attention while watching the videos and I recommend taking notes.

I give 3 for the audience. Luckily it is not necessary to interact with other participants. This is a biology-chemistry science course specifically made for beginners. Still, as always with science courses and lectures, peoples sign up specifically to question and argue, and especially to question the validity of information in the lectures.

So generally, I loved the concept and the idea, it was made nicely. What is still missing, it the same as almost every course on coursera, the teachers and educators are not participating, not answering question at all on the forum. Mentors replies, but I could be a mentor on the Osteoarcheology course and even though I loved the course, I am not sure that a couple of weeks online course makes me qualified answering questions about human anthropology. They might be expert on the topics, they might be just people who did a couple of weeks, quite light plant physiology course.

Recommend: 5/5
Lectures: 5/5
Audience: 3/5

Job hunt · Personal life · Uncategorized

Being ridiculed

aka expectations meets reality.

I don’t say I had great expectations, but I actually thought after graduation, I will get a job and I will live happily ever after. I hoped, that since my relationship-love life is literally non-existent, I could have just that little.

But…. after graduation, I entered the “you need experience to get a job, but you need to get a job to get experience” loop. Eventually I settled with volunteering, so I get some work experience, maybe contact as well, even though I am horrible at networking. But since I am not part of the rich and mighty, I had to work something in order to be able to get the work experience.

Now, I have experience, but I don’t make it to the interviews, or even if I make it, I am being ridiculed by “professionals (?)” for working in retail and hospitality.

So I am now what it is called, breaking point I believe. I no longer have hopes, I no longer have dreams. I just live day by day kinda waiting for the inevitable end.

At this point, I am out of ideas what I could do to get a job. I have 2 university degrees (both of them is in the 1st category, one of them was 89% the other 90something %). I have a language qualification, actually two and at the moment 7 other certificate on various topics and two published paper.

But I am UNSALEABLE. Because my career path is not one single thing, because I am not rich, my family is not rich, I don’t know the queen, the royal family and a whole bunch of rich people and lately and most of all: my mother tongue happened to be something other than English.

Yes, we reached the point of human history, where being knowledgeable about many topics, having a better brain (both, clever, smart and intelligent has a highly negative meaning lately) – is actually something, you have to be ashamed of.

Of you are going to be ridiculed, mistreated and looked-down.



I’ve never said that this blog is going to be a happy one.

Job hunt · Personal life · Uncategorized

Our society

Well, we had a conversation in my house and at work… and with friends… lining up all the things what pretty much sucks now…. I mean, hard work always existed and the hunger for money, but these days are pretty much nothing else, just money.

You can never satisfy anyone.

And let’s face it, Brits have waaaay to much time and they can allow themselves way to many things. Like arguing with an employe in a stationary store for losing like 50p from a voucher…. 50P !!!!!!!! IN A STATIONARY STORE. You honestly don’t have anything more important to do?

And I can guarantee you, the answer will be no.

And 90% of the time, if you have a problematic customer, they will be middle-aged white English woman. No, I am not being racist, I have years of experience on the topics. Always these woman (and woman in general) who wants to express their frustration and release their anger on a person who is like…. just working there to make their living.

Whatever, sort of got used to them. But seriously thinking about moving out of the UK, especially London. It stinks. Not literally.

Basically you are constantly threatened by “company policy” and your bosses that you are going to loose your job. You are enduring harassment, life threatening situations (I am not even joking about that), bullying by the management, discrimination. And what can you do? NOTHING.

And you probably tell the person who says these “mate, just quit and go somewhere else”. Let me tell you something, all companies are like that. From the head to down, everyone gets the pressure from above, to be scared and live in fear all the time and loose your job and you are gonna be homeless and DIE and family will DIE too.

Yes, because unlike the lucky ones, some of us can’t just live off not working. Like, we don’t have secret stash of money hidden on 6 other bank account. We actually work to pay the bills.

And before you start the “you should have studied” kinda bullshit, I have 3 university qualifications, 2 of them in science and I graduated with merit from all of them. And I am still here, working in retail, ’cause my family doesn’t have contacts and money.

Which is basically the only important thing these days, nothing else matters. Everyone is running after money and killing themselves with stress. Welcome to 2017, human society.

e-learning · Uncategorized

Course 1: Big History – From the Big Bang until Today

I literally don’t have ideas to write about, or at least not until today. Then I’ve realized, I am taking online courses like crazy after one another, so I can write recommendations. If anyone is interested taking them, just to know what to expect.

So, the course in the title was the first e-course I took. Actually I took 3 at the same time, but that was the first I finished.

Big History – From the Big Bang until Today by University of Amsterdam.

You can find some close up info about the course itself clicking here.

The course itself, was absolutely amazing. The guest lecturers were interesting. It was nicely put together. There was a lecture at the end, I believe the last lecture, what had a technical mistake, so you could see the lecture, but the lecturer had a PowerPoint slideshow which did not show. So it was a bit weird “you can see here on the picture” and you saw nothing.

The negative part is that some of the quiz questions were quite challenging and there was absolutely zero support from the lecturer. Like she did not even show, not even once.

Also the assignments – this is a general problem on coursera by the way. There is no admin or lecturer support and your “classmates” are grading the assignment. On this course, most of the time you needed to pass the assignment to pass the course. I’ve got downgraded several times, because the person who graded my assignment did not understand my concept. Or because I was stupid enough to decide on a controversial topic and I am sure the person’s opinion the opposite of mine.

I also had one who copied my assignment and submitted as their own. They did not even bother to change the wording, I recognized my writing style immediately and as I saved the original on my computer, I opened it and saw the exact same writing word by word. It was bloody ridiculous that someone steals an assignment for a free online course.

Recommend: 4/5
Lectures: 4,5/5
Audience: 2/5

Personal life · Uncategorized

“Have courage and be kind”

Cinderella has always been my favourite fairy tale. And surprisingly it is, I have grown up on the mother’s grave give the clothes and shoes and there is actually 3 balls and at the end the step sisters disfigure themselves version. The pumpkin and fairy godmother came later when the internet came in and the west flowed into my country.

But, it is kind of a motto. Always been. More the “be kind” part. And I try to be. Today I had my first appointment with my recruitment officer, helper kind of person and she told me she believes I am a very kind person.

No one told me this before.

Probably due to my Asperger and¬†Prosopagnosia, I am always the rude person who hurts everyone. I forget people, I don’t remember them and it is hurtful. They don’t care about the whys and hows, what matters is that I do not remember them. Or I do not care about their feelings and stuff. When I am basically in the dark about detecting people’s feelings…

So telling me this, I don’t know, the biggest compliment ever (?).

I judge people too fast I know that. And I hurt them a lot with my words and reactions, ever though it is not intentional.

Like, I am the person with flowers and butterflies, minus the fact that only my closest friends and family knows about it.

So yeah, life is not easy, especially when you not only have to figure out yourself, but everyone else around you, because you just have absolutely no clue what is their reaction to anything you say or do.

Job hunt · Personal life · Uncategorized

Job seeking and stuff

Well, I am finally announced depression free! I am so happy about it, it was really not me. A friend of mine told me that I am the most positive, cheerful person she knows and if I am battling with depression, there is something seriously wrong with the world.

Well, depressive episode over (I am pretty sure there will be more, but then I will deal with them when they come). So at least, that is out of the question.

Too bad I cannot do the same with my Asperger or Prosopagnosia. Or with my JHS if we are lining up hereditary or born-with problems.

My mum asked an interesting question yesterday, that does the knowledge that I do have these illnesses makes me feel bad or down or sad? (She doesn’t have any of my problems, for JHS, she is probably a carrier, same as for my father, as none of them have it, but it occurs in the family on both sides. So I won the 50-50% lottery from both sides.)

And back to the question if it makes me sad or affects me in a way that makes me sad. And the answer is ‘no’. I mean, yes, I do wish sometimes to be like everybody else. But since all of my problems I had it since I can remember, naming it does not change anything. Knowing my JHS does not make it less painful. Knowing my Prosopagnosia does not make it easier to recognize faces. Life is the same. The only difference is that I can answer to questions like “oh, do you have any problem?” “oh, what is wrong with you?” “what causing your problem?”. Many people finds it utterly funny that I don’t really recognize faces much. My mum was not one of them when I did not recognize family members…

But that does not make me sad. It is part of my life, I kinda got used to it. Adjusted my life around them. It is not perfect, but it’s working better than before.

And then job seeking, wow, hardcore, I am playing level 10000. Because if I want to have an interview, then I don’t put any of these in my CV or application. I still barely get invited to an interview anyway, let’s not ruin my little chances.

But on the interview:
“Can you carry heavy boxes?”
“Uhm…. no…..”

“What is your weakness?”
“Social skills…..?”

When now in 2017 there is basically not a single job where you don’t have to communicate with people. Even if it is not technically a customer-facing environment, they still expect you to be socially active…. Well, I don’t recognize faces and I have so low empathy levels, I don’t even recognize emotions…. so, yeah, be socially active…. ūüė¶

Anyhow, just to cheer everyone up at the end. Here’s a pic of one of our cat sitting on my lap and studying climate physics with me.



Nobody talks about it

The last post wasn’t a happy one, or more like, the beginning wasn’t too happy. Well, no one said this is going to be a happy blog. This is about my experiences and life-mistake, so what to expect after this explanation.

I wanted to write about something else today. Not necessarily what I experienced, but more like what others. I am still on the brighter side of the spectrum.

So, what everybody talks about, how bad the situation is outside Europe. People’s life, poverty.

What nobody talks about is the industrialized modern slavery what happens in Europe. Because this is an ugly word and our clean and civilized society, no such thing exist, how dare you.

Well, try to digest the harsh truth, yes, there is a form of slavery in Europe. Especially in England.

This is not the type of slavery, you see in the movies. Or documentaries of other countries outside Europe. This is lurking in the dark.

When I moved here, I started to work in hospitality, in a coffee shop. (As basically every single foreigner, especially from other countries of Europe, because you get no help, you are not running away from a war, you are running away from poverty and that is your problem, now is it). I was earning¬†¬£6.31 at the time. 40 hours a week, because I am not physically built to work more. (Still, sometimes I worked 45-50 hours, all bandaged up, because my joints couldn’t take it.). So that is approx¬†¬£1000 per month. Since I couldn’t work a lot and I was trying to get experience in my field, I volunteered, that was reduced to approx¬†¬£750 per month. From that, ¬£400 was the rent.¬†¬£15 the phone, ¬£130 the travel. So usually I was left with¬†¬£200 for a month of everything, food, hygiene products, clothing.

I was treated like a dirt. People were constantly shouted at me for no reason, we were not allowed to drink, to eat, to sit down, toilet only 1-2 during the 8-9 hours shift, and not longer than 2-3 minutes. Including your journey to the toilet and back. If you were on toilet break for more than 5 minutes, you got into trouble, something investigation against you. We were taking turns crying in the changing room.

Sometimes I had no time or mostly money for food. I lost weight. We all did.

And I was still on the bright side.

I know people, clinical psychologists, biochemists, all working like this. Some of them works 60-70 hours per week, every single day without a day off for weeks.

I know people working for less than the minimum wage.

People who are working as black workers, working for cash, with no benefits or healthcare on anything.

I have never had sick pay. For 4 years I am working without a single sick pay. On a zero hour contract. Without pension.

If you are sick, you either come to work sick or you don’t and you won’t eat next month. So you work. We were all working sick.

We were all working during the winter in an open area in shirts, because we were not allowed to dress up warmer. We were breaking cups and plates and dropped milk jugs because we did not feel our hands.

We had 2nd degree burns all over. I had concussions multiple times due to poor engineering work in the shop. We got no compensation. I was working with a concussion because my shift was not over.

And trust me, there are people working in much worse conditions.

And let’s not mention the living conditions in London.

Do you think this is not slavery? Yes, technically it isn’t. Since they have a choice. They have a choice to be unemployed, starve and be homeless.

And I don’t say, do something, because the social justice warriors are blind to see this. I just ask you to think, before you start shouting at people because they don’t work as fast as you think they should. Maybe they are there working for 13 hours in a row. Like I did sometimes. Started at 6am, finished at 7pm and had 30 minutes break to eat.

Consider us humans, because your behaviour puts is into the slavery position.